God Sees You
Just other day, a friend sent me a DM that read...
"I read this tonight. I needed it and again God put you on my heart - so I'm sharing it with you too."
The link attached to the DM lead to a photo that said, "God Sees You." It was exactly what I needed.
This phrase struck a cord in my heart. I sat and digested this for a few moments and I was overcome with emotion. "With all the people in this world, God sees me. Lil ole me." It is not that I did not know this before but I did not accept it until a few days ago. Go figure! Why was this truth so hard for me believe?
As a young child, I remember feeling like I had to be perfect for anyone to notice me. I excelled academically in school and these achievements were the perfect cover for my flaws. I was a short, pudgy girl but I had "good hair" and dimples. I was kind too. Since I was "unpleasantly plump" in my eyes, I knew that I had to "pull off perfect" as best I could. In some circles, I thrived. In others, not so much. I ended up being the loner in most cases and walked around noticeably unnoticeable. For years, I carried around this notion...that perfection brings attention...attention from parents, friends, co-workers, the opposite sex, etc. Perfection meant promotion for me on all fronts.
This lie was shattered this year in the first counseling session with my therapist. "Why do you think your panic attacks started?" My therapist asked me this and I immediately blurted out, "God is punishing me!" And then tears flew all over the place. Why did I think a loving God was punishing me??????? Because I wasn't perfect. I had slacked off with reading my Bible. I hadn't spent time with him in a while. I wasn't "christianing" right. Where did this lie come from? It came from external and internal sources. I internalized this lie and it became my life. I was broken and imperfect but I tried to hide my flaws from the sovereign God...the all-knowing God.
As terrible as they felt, my panic attacks helped me to heal. I understand and am now fully convinced that God loves me despite my filthiness. He loves me in the dirt and he loves me when I bloom. He is not punishing me because he is madly, head over hills, unconditionally in love with me. And God sees me...perfectly through the eyes of a loving savior.
God sees you. And it is good.
Be the light and Spread love...
Atiya Chase Writes