I'm A Bad Date
Two weeks ago, I decided in my heart to really make room for God. Like totally get serious about spending time in prayer. I had recently finished the book Chase The Lion by Mark Batterson and I was energized. The author spoke of one of his friends committing an hour a day to God. Seemed simple enough and I purposed in my heart to show God how much I love him in this coming year. So, I took the spiritual plunge...give God 1 hour a day. I even challenged my husband to do with me.
December 28th, 2018
Alarm on phone goes off. It's singing "Make Room" by Jonathan McReynolds. It's 4 am. (This is the time that I designated to give God my hour because it's quiet in my house at that time.) Freaking four in the morning. I looked at my phone through tired, crusty eyes and hit the off button. Not snooze. Just off. I laid there in bed, incoherent. My morning mumbling to God in prayer was that I was so tired and I was going to give him my most committed attention laying right there in bed. Feeling a nudging to get up, I promised God that he had all of me even though I was snuggled in my sheets. I dozed after a few minutes of thanking God for the trees and slugs.
Alarm on phone goes off again. Four-thirty. AM. This was my back up alarm because I suck. Still so tired. Hit off again. Mumbling again, "Lord, thank you for this...sleep." I dozed again.
Then, while I was somewhere between consciousness, I heard him.
"I want to spend time with you."
Just typing those words still sends chills down my spine. Needless to say, I shot up out of the bed. Like the drama enthusiast I am, I rent my clothes and fell to my knees in shame. "What a wretched woman I am... ." God wanted to spend time with me. My vow was the invitation to the King to meet me at 4 am in prayer and I stood him up!!!! A table clearly set for two. But only He showed up. I'm a bad date. I missed the chance to move sleep over and make room for my savior.
I wallowed in prayer for a while but like the good father he is, he quickly restored me. He forgave me and he still loves me with the intensity of an infinite number of volcanoes erupting.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1, ESV
I could let condemnation sink in and continue the cycle of missing my dates with God. But this would be all too easy and an excuse to be mediocre. This would be an opportunity to miss the mark everyday.
Relationships require time. Time in each others company to get to know each other. Time to share. Time to receive. The same is true of your relationship with God. He wants to be in your company. And because of this, you need to make time for him. You don't have to give him an hour a day. Maybe this is too lofty a goal for me. But start somewhere...5 minutes, 10 minutes. Then stick with it. Just don't be a bad date.
Be the light and Spread love.