• Atiya Chase

Responding to Grief

#guestblogger #grief #respondingtolife #lifestyle #inspiration

Grief can be described as the last act of love you have for someone that has no where to go.  Grief is an individual process and no two people will have the same experience.  What I know from my personal experience is that the process is not linear, it has its hills and valleys.  Another way to say that you are grieving is that a part of you is stuck in a moment in time.  A part of you is longing for the way things were...for one last moment with your loved one, one last smile, hug, word, gesture, anything.

I loss my mother at the age of 26 which to be quite honest, that is the age I began to need her the most.  Shortly there after, my Aunt passed away. Shortly there after, my grandmother passed in April of 2017 and most recently my big brother, Keith passed away at the age of 37 in June 2017. In the midst of that, I experienced other deaths and even endured a miscarriage. In 2015, I had brain surgery to remove a tumor from my cerebellum. Thank God during this time I married my husband Malcolm, I had my rainbow baby girl Camille Kathleen (named for my mother) and along with my amazing family and friends they helped me to keep it all together. Being a certified counselor myself, I knew that grief counseling was vital for my success and I found an amazing life counselor. I knew that although all of these things happened I had a choice. Trust me, I still have my moments.  Grief can hit you like a ton of bricks at any given moment.  It could be a song, a smell, even a phrase that takes you back and reminds you that your loved one is no longer with you.  I've learned that I have to honor those moments.  I acknowledge that my loved one is with me and simply trying to comfort me. 

I began to post morning memos daily because it has been said that one positive thought can change your mind and alter your mood. I make an effort to start my day off positive and wanted to share it with others. There was a time, I fasted from social media for over two months and people were contacting me asking if I was OK and that they missed my morning memos. I knew that others needed this motivation just like I did. I knew that I had a responsibility and that I needed to share my message with others. People often comment on my strength and resiliency stating "I don't know how you do it, Stacy." I'd like to say that I have angels whom I can personally call by name who push me, who encourage me, who lift me up when I feel like I can't go on. 

Through tragedy, triumph was born.  I had no idea that my morning memos would turn into my first published journal "Responding to Life."  The motivational journal was created to help you challenge yourselves, to ask yourself the questions needed to push you forward. I pray that once you answer the questions for yourself you are able to respond to whatever life may through at you. Remember life's lemons will come but you have the choice whether or not to make lemonade.

On a personal journey of self-care and what that looks/feels like to me, I rediscovered my love of writing.  Writing has become my release and one of the main ways that I take care of myself.  One of my favorite quotes is "You can't pour from an empty cup."  Writing/Journaling as a form of expression and release has become my way to "refill my cup."  

Both journals were born out of my need for motivation, as a source of inspiration.  I needed to find a way to cope with life because it was coming at me fast, very fast.  

Out of these struggles, The Responding to Life Journal was born.  It is a motivational journal, that asks you thought provoking questions to assist you when needing to respond to life.  

Those who know me, know that I use the word DOPE to express when I really, really, really like something.  "That's dope, she's dope, they're dope," etc.  However, for my 2nd journal Be D.O.P.E it's an acronym for Be Different, BeOriginal, Be Purposeful & Be an Example.  D.O.P.E. helps to remind me to remain these things and as a motivational journal it will help you to become, maintain and remain being the D.O.P.E individual you are.

I sincerely thank you for visiting my site and implore you to find your way to "refill your cup."  If you would like to try journaling, I encourage you to check out either of mine.

Stacy C. Yates, M.Ed


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