• Atiya Chase

Starting Over...Again.

If at first you don't succeed, give up. Examine yourself. Then make adjustments to your self worth.

So, you may have messed up. Or you may have never started. Thankfully, life is packed full of "do overs." Today, is my day for starting over. For so long, I can remember, I have loved writing. I remember writing a short screenplay in middle school. I felt so accomplished and proud of myself. My first completed short screenplay, in middle school. MIDDLE SCHOOL! I was a pretty big deal in my head, until a peer got a hold of my writing. And read it. And told the whole blasted school of my dreams of becoming a famous anything. You know, the famous anything that I never became. Sounds like I need therapy, huh? I never got over the feeling of shame and embarrassment of my work being stolen and put on display. This one incident that happened over 25 years ago had stopped me right in my tracks. Kept me from writing my best stories. But here's the kicker. In the midst of these suppressed feelings, I've written anyway. I am a published author and I have other books in the works. How about those apples? Huh!

Starting over is not so much about crumbling up the paper and getting out a brand new sheet to have a clean slate. Not in the physical form of starting over. The kind of "starting over" that I am referring to is about believing in yourself. About believing with the initial intensity that was lacking with your very first attempt with the thing you tried do so long ago. It's about believing in your God-given, God-breathed, God-inspired gifts and talents and putting them to work. That 'uh-oh" in middle school was not about that girl that took my screenplay and shared it. It was about the internal shame that I carried around unknowingly. Shame and embarrassment that I had written something that was worthy of being read...that was worthy of sharing. I mean, who did I think I was? Like, what is that about??!?!? That shame came from somewhere. Its origin is unknown. But today, I'm dismantling the shame and replacing it with fresh perspective. I AM WORTHY. My writing is worthy. And it's your loss if you don't realize the worth in me or it.

So often we allow others and things to take away from us not because they detract but because we are fighting against ourselves. We will wrestle with our thoughts of worthiness and still choose the insecurity because it's safe. Who needs therapy now? It's quite comfortable living in the middle and not having to trust that you can do anything. Because at that moment when you realize just how capable you are, you become accountable. Accountable to do something with your worth. Preach! PREACH!!!! Preach!

Last Thoughts

Stop fighting. It's as simple as that. Just give into your worth. Put down the boxing gloves. The fight within is over. Believe that you have the power to do those very things that you have put off for so long. And for those of you that need other's approval to get started, here it is. Do it. And do it now! After all, you belong here!

#start #believe #lifestyle

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